On Neglect

Picture of my little sister's 7th birthday and my 10 year old childish self, and some friends from Syria! 

I haven't written in a long time and am guilty of neglect. 

Neglect is a funny term. Literally meaning to not care for or of, its origins are latin.

Pleasure is often a neglected concept in America. I find that as an aspiring poet the pleasure of writing is superseded by the fact that making enough ends meat to live is really all one can strive to do.

I have neglected my poetry in the past few days to pursue a "career" because poetry can only ever be a "hobby", but my neglect for my passion has left me embittered and slightly angry at the world for making it impossible for me to do what I love.

Being a mature and well rounded adult, it is my maturity that tells me to neglect my rage and redirect it into words, but the child in me will not desist its crying.

I am sad. I am sad that I am currently jobless, sad that I can't pursue a career in poetry and poetry alone, sad that I probably wouldn't really want to just do poetry, sad that I am confused about it, sad that a writing instructor recently said that my poetry wasn't developed enough to enter into her class, sad that Syria is crumbling, and Lebanon will soon follow suit, sad that I ate way too much today, and sad that though so far things have been going well, I want more from life.

But this is privilege talking, because I know that the truth is people have more valid reasons to be sad, and are as obligated as I am to neglect them because life wont allow it any other way. I know I am privileged, but does that make my sorrows or concerns any less valid?

I will end this rant on sadness with neglect. Because a term which clearly has always had negative connotations since its latin origins has a specific positive function in life. My maturity will dictate my inner child, it will neglect the nuances that matter but are uncontrollable at this time. I will always nurture that  child, but she cannot always speak for me. And so today I will neglect her.

Every day a new lesson learned!